This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
“Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?”
“Dogs can’t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I’ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick you.”
“Okay,” says the guy.
He turns to his dog. “Okay fella.Tell me – what is on top of a house?”
“Roof!” The man turns and smiles at the bartender.
“THAT ain’t talking! Any dog can bark!”
“Okay boy. Tell me – how does sandpaper feel?”
“Ruff!”
“What the hell you tryin’ to pull mister?”
“Okay, okay,” says the man.
“One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me – who is the greatest baII player who ever lived?”
“Ruth”
The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar,