AnimalsJokes A Wolf, A Rabbit And A Tortoise Needed A Drink. This Is Hilarious. 12.1k Views A wolf, a rabbit and a tortoise needed a drink. They drew sticks and the tortoise came up short and had to go to the shop to get a bottle of Vodka. An hour passed and the wolf and the rabbit got pretty pissed. “This is too slow even for a slowpoke like him”, said the wolf. “If I went, we would already be on our second bottle by now”, chimed in the rabbit. The door opened and the tortoise poked his head in, “If you guys criticize this much, I ain’t even going!” See more Previous joke A Couple Drove Down A Country Road. Next joke An Old Man Is Selling Watermelons.