AnimalsJokes Two turtles Walk Into A Bar. What Follows Next Is Truly Hilarious. Two turtles walk into a bar. As soon as they enter inside, it starts to rain. The big turtle turns to the smaller one and says – Go home and get the umbrella. Small Turtle – I will, if you promise not to touch my soda. Two hours pass……. Big Turtle – Well. I guess he’s not coming back. May as well drink his soda. As he’s about to reach for it, a voice from outside the bar says – If you touch the soda, I won’t go home and get the umbrella. See more Previous joke A Man Gets Stopped By A Game Warden. Next joke A 60-Year-Old Man Is Getting His Annual Physical.