ElderlyJokes Shamus And Murphy Fancied A Pint. This Will Blow Your Mind 7.1k Views Shamus and Murphy two elderly friends fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them; they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro Murphy said, “Hang on, I have an idea.” He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money at all!” Murphy replied, “Don’t worry – just follow me.” He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said “Now you’ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!!” Murphy replied, with a smile. “Don’t worry; I have a plan, Cheers!” They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.” The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting drunker and drunker, all for free. At the tenth pub, Shamus said “Murphy – I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m drunk and my knees are killing me!” Murphy said, “How do you think I feel? I can’t even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.” See more Previous joke A Woman And A Baby Were In The Doctor's Room. Next joke Angus Is An Old Man Of Glasgow.