A man is sitting in a bar, totally drunk.
Suddenly he vomits on himself and immediately starts crying.
The bartender feels sorry for the guy and tries to calm him down.
The guy says
“you don’t understand. My wife bought me this new shirt, and she will be furious I have vomit on it”
No problem says the bartender.
Just put a $20 bill in your shirt pocket, and tell your wife that some drunk guy did it, and gave you money to have it cleaned.
The guy thought this was a great idea and headed home.
The wife angrily met him at the door, but before she could say a word, he passed her the money and explained what had happened.
She looked at the money, and said, I don’t believe you.
You said the guy who vomited on you, gave you $20 for cleaning. You gave me $40!!
With a knowing smile, the husband explained,
“he gave me an extra $20 because he sh*t in my pants too”!