AnimalsJokes Confirming ‘Dead’ The Hard Way. Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says “OK, now what?! See more Previous joke That’s one expensive pizza delivery! Next joke Winning Starts With A Ticket, Harry!