1. A Monkey Was Sitting In A Tree, Smoking A Joint. This Will Make Your Jaws Drop.
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. Read Full Joke Here
2. Three Contractors Are Bidding To Fix A Broken Fence At The White House. You Expect This To Happen
One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
“Well,” he says,
“I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” Read Full Joke Here.
3. Wife Calls A Husband. What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind
H – “Hello?”
W – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
H – “Yes.”
W – “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
H – “What’s the price?” Read Full Joke Here.
4. After 37 Years Of Marriage Jake Dumped His Wife For His Young Secretary. His Wife Is Hell Genius
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.
He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.
On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.
On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful.. Read Full Joke Here.
5. Frog Hopped Into A Bank And Asked For A Loan. The Bank’s Manager Response Is So Funny.
A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday’
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager. Read Full Joke Here.