AnimalsJokes Alan’s Wife Called Him As He Was At In The Pub. This Is Funny. Alan’s wife called him as he was at in the pub last night. “I’ve cooked dinner,” she screamed, “And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I’m going to feed it to the dog.” “Woooah! That’s bang out of order!” Alan said, “It’s not his fault.” See more Previous joke A Little Boy Was Waiting For His Mom Outside. Next joke Paddy Hates His Wife’s Cat.