AnimalsJokes Alan’s Wife Called His Husband. This will Blow Your Mind. Alan’s wife called him as he was at in the pub last night. “I’ve cooked dinner,” she screamed, “And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I’m going to feed it to the dog.” “Woooah! That’s bang out of order!” Alan said, “It’s not his fault.” See more Previous joke An Old Man Was On The Operating Table. Next joke A Group Of Frogs Was Traveling Through The Woods.